Harry Potter (Guys and Dolls Style)
by Angels of Fate
Summary: Harry=Nathan, Ginny= Adelaide, Ron=Sky, Hermione=Sarah... and a surprise cameo by Justin the Gerbil


This is a Harry Potter parody of Guys and Dolls. The senior play at my school is going to be guys and dolls this year, and I saw some interesting... parallels.   
  
Enjoy!  
  
  
Harry Potter gazed out the window, depressed. For the first time in 6 years, his moving crap game at Hogwarts was not going on! He had been running this game since his second year here, and it always gathered a group of guys a mile long. The kitchens, the small alcove off of the Common Room, Snape's dungeon.... the possibilities had been endless. But McGonagall was on the prowl now, and the pressure was on. Between her normal bitchy self, her cat form, and the alliance she had with Filch and Mrs. Norris, it seemed that the (in)famous crap game wasn't going to happen this week.   
  
"Harry!"   
  
Harry turned to see his 'friends' Dean and Seamus come up.   
  
"We have a possibility. Snape said we could use his dungeon under two conditions."  
  
"Well?" Harry asked eagerly.   
  
"One: that he gets a share of the profits."  
  
"Ok, ok, that will hurt us, but fine. Go ahead."  
  
"Two..." Seamus hesitated. "He wants 1000 G(alleons) up front.   
  
"A THOUSAND G?"   
  
"SHH!"  
  
Harry consciously lowered his voice, but continued, "Where the hell am I going to get 1000 Galleons on such short notice? He won't take my marker?"  
  
"No. And, Harry, all the high-rolling Hufflepuffs are going to be at the game- Moonshine Morag, Justin the Gerbil..."  
  
Harry drew his hand into a fist. "Damn."   
  
Ginny walked up to the boys.   
  
"Harry! Is our date still on for tomorrow night?" she asked, gently fingering the promise ring he had given her two years ago. Harry flinched.   
  
"Of course," he said, plastering a fake smile on. "Now, Dean and Seamus will escort you to the tower for your Divination class." The boys left with Ginny walking between them. Meanwhile, Ron walked into the common room, leaving the portrait open- and Harry had an idea. With Ron's father now holding the position of Minister of Magic, Ron was in the money, and his parents never noticed when a lot of it went missing at once. Unnoticed by the people in the room, Hermione stood outside the door preaching to anyone who walked by about the unjustness of keeping House Elves, and promoting her elf rights group, S.P.E.W.  
  
"Ron! I did not know you were back from visiting your family! Sit down," said Harry. Ron obliged.  
  
"Yes, I only got in this morning. I am afraid I must be off again though, I have some business to attend to for Father over in Paris. I will only be gone tomorrow," Ron said cooly. Money does have an effect on people. Just then, some first years walked by talking about the House Cup and the close tournament between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Harry knew from his Double Potions that morning that Slytherin now had a 60 point lead.  
  
"Oh, nice. Say, Ron, do you suppose Ravenclaw or Slytherin will win the Cup?" Harry asked nonchalantly. Ron thought for a moment.  
  
"Well, I myself favor Ravenclaw; and everyone knows Slytherin will not win because they cheat," he commented. Harry smiled.  
  
"You willing to bet? How about a 1000 G, that Slytherin is winning, as of right now?"   
  
"Now Harry, surely I do not think you would stoop so low, but since when have you been a supporter of anything Slytherin?"  
  
"I am desperate for the money, Ron." Harry's feet were propped over the arm of the chair he was sitting in. Ron held down his pants legs.  
  
"I will bet you those same 1000G that you cannot tell me what kind of socks you are wearing." Harry thought for a moment.  
  
"Bet?" Ron asked.  
  
"No bet," he sighed. After a glance at his socks, Harry rolled his eyes skyward. "Only Harry Potter could lose a bet on Snitches!"   
  
"Harry, my Daddy always said, 'If a guy comes up to you, and bets he can get a ace of spades to jump out of a new deck of Exploding Snap and squirt butterbeer in your ear, you turn him down. Why? Because odds are good that by the end of the night, you'll have an ear full of butterbeer.'"   
  
Just then, Dean and Seamus came up to the two.  
  
"Harry, Ginny said to remind you to meet her at the library later to study," Seamus said.  
  
"Yes, dear," groaned Harry. Ron raised an eyebrow.  
  
"This is the speech of a commited man, Harry, what have you done to yourself? Surely you are not telling me that you are permenantly attached to my sister? Where is the fun in that?"  
  
"Ginny is not just any girl, Ron. There's no other doll like her in the world."  
  
"Harry, Harry. There is only one type of doll at all and that is indi.... " Harry's eyes lit up as if a lightbulb had gone on.   
  
"Well then why are you going to Paris alone? The city of love, surely you would like a girl with you there," he said.  
  
"I could take any girl I want to, Harry, I choose not to," was the reply.   
  
"Any girl?"  
  
"Any."  
  
"I bet you 1000G that you could not."  
  
"Name your girl." Smiling, Harry directed Ron to the potrait of the Fat Lady and pointed out it, directly at Hermione.  
  
"Her? HER? Hermione Granger, the head of SPEW?" Ron asked, jaw hanging.   
  
Harry nodded smugly, giving a triumphant glance toward Dean and Seamus. "Her."   
  
Ron looked up at the ceiling in supplication. "Daddy," he said regretfully, "I just got butterbeer in my ear." 


End file.
